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This morning my husband and I went on our long run. After, I stretched a bit: Down Dog, Intense Western Stretch. Somehow my day flew by without time for further Asana, so this evening I read a bit more from The Wisdom of Yoga by Stephen Cope.

He has been discussing aversion and attraction and offers that the key is not reacting to these feelings. However, the ability to discern the dividing line, the opportunity to NOT react, takes time and serious self-exploration. Tonight, I realize how challenging my work life is to my yoga journey.  

I sell internet and print advertising for a living. Soon I will be leaving to teach yoga full-time. My husband and I are preparing for a big shift in income and lifestyle, and I feel like I am already shifting the focus of my spirit. It is almost as if I live on a mountain from 5pm-8am and from 8am-5pm I live in a smog infested city. 

Challenges arise daily to stay genuine in my interactions. It could be a client who wants to know EXACT demographics in numbers, when we prefer to talk in percentages. Or a confidence my boss has shared with me that I have to hold back from my team. 

Today, I spoke with a client I definitely feel aversion for. While nice and always appropriate, this client’s high sense of entitlement and superiority has evoked judgement and disgust in the past. I was aware of the aversion I felt today. I acknowledged it, and then I had to let it go. It was the only way to be present in the conversation and honor my duty to my company.

This discussion, the act of not reacting to aversion, was my most important Yoga practice today.

I am reading the most amazing book, The Wisdom of Yoga by Stephen Cope, (thanks for the lend Susan!) In it, he discusses the awareness we all have. This awareness brings the mind back to center during meditation. He calls it a number of things, I like to think of it as an observer, and the observer is me.

Tonight, during a heated power class, I tried to access the observer. I have done this before, but never with significant engagement. But for some reason, during an extensive balancing series, with thighs burning and sweat dripping, I consciously shifted to an unattached focus. I let go.  Attachment to my experience released, along with tension and worry. I felt, if not quite peace, a grounding and acceptance. 

It is a continual amazement to me that so much can happen on my mat. In this little 2×7 foot space I experience an intense internal dialogue. The fighting and pulling, negotiating and deal making that happens in my head would be enough to fill a half- hour sitcom. I see now that this connection to the observer is a way to help lose this drama on the mat!

Getting back to class, I worked! My body worked! And on this morning’s run, I FELT my thighs. It was sort of mark of success, and I didn’t get hung up there. I just ran on.

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